Cowboys and Aliens - Anyone who knows me here and reads my reviews probably knows I have a soft spot for the silly and bizarre. It really doesn't matter where I find it - whether it's in some absurdest comedy or horror film, I really relish the "zany" when it's done well. So imagine my unabashed interest when I hear there's a movie coming out called "Cowboys and Aliens", and that it's actually got some decent popcorn pedigree behind it. The title sounds like one of the .99 cent DVDs you can find at your local Sunoco, and I mean that as a compliment. Even in a very mediocre summer and year overall, I remained optimistic - the supporting cast looked absolutely remarkable, full of players that are all veterans of some very iconic genre character acting, and Farvreau seems to be a pretty okay guy, despite being a noted Hollywood servant.
So imagine my disappointment when I say that Cowboys and Aliens really ain't s**** . It's not terrible by any means. It's not a brainless music video-caliber effort and it isn't riddled with anything offensive to a logical film-viewer. But it's perhaps one of the more soul-less popcorn adventures I've seen in a while, maybe in a couple years. Now, popcorn films can often be fairly assembly-line washed in this day and age, but it shouldn't have been this film. No film with a cast billing that contains Harrison Ford, Sam Rockwell, Keith Carradine, Clancy Brown, Adam Beach, Walter Goggins, and Paul Dano should ever, in any universe, be called tepid. So much talent that is left with nothing really to do but deliver their lines the best they can and just get to the obvious conclusion as quickly as possible.
And there it is, folks. This is a wasted opportunity on the highest level. There are no risks taken by Favreau here, not a single shot here is ostensibly interesting or unique. Chamberlis, the lead production designer, created (or worse, okayed) some extremely bland alien designs here - the ships, the technology, and the monsters themselves are all something you'd see in a Halo knockoff. But all of that could be forgiven if there was even a hint of an interesting script to speak of. There are maybe three actors given anything of interest to work with here (namely Ford, Beach, and Rockwell), and while they do their best with what they were given, even their smidgen of development is pretty damn boring. Daniel Craig, an actor I think is generally quite interesting as a leading man in most projects, isn't asked to do anything but look like Steve McQueen in a cowboy hat and scowl. Maybe the goal was to create a mysterious character ala Eastwood's Man With No Name, but if it was, it was horribly handled. The script is painfully devoid of any interesting humor, and the material here is taken as serious as the f***ing Holocaust. Yes, a movie about gold-hunting aliens lassoing people from the sky is delivered with not a hint of irony or absurdity.
The rest of the cast, including the plethora of bonafide fantastic character actors I mentioned above, are all trying their best here- again there isn't a single obnoxious or offensive acting performance here. And at times, the sheer charm of their remarkable abilities shine through like a sliver of sunshine in an otherwise overcast sky. But again, there is so much God d**** talent here for there to just be shades of fun. This whole experience should have been an unhinged pleasure cruise rife with a couple dozen shots of insanity, but instead it's a leisurely stroll with a warm can of "meh".
If this was another film with lesser pedigree, this film wouldn't have bothered me. I would have slapped on a 2.5/5 on this baby, and sent it on it's marry way. But this was truly a bothersome film experience for me simply because of what could have been. There are much worse ways to spend two hours of your life, but not a single person should be excited as something as drab as this. If you're a Ford fan, you might want to check it out on video. All others, you should most likely get your alien-action somewhere else - perhaps on the excellent '80-flavored Attack The Block, which is also getting a limited release this week (a review for that is probably coming soon).
2/5